Sometimes I hope I Can Live in Fantasies

Sometimes living in fantasies are better than the reality. I wish I could just live in my dreams and fantasies forever. when you step into the reality, everything kinda suck. big time!! Ive posted how I felt this past few weeks in Sumpah Seranah Sinonim Sampah I felt so lonely sometimes and I do think a lot. Maybe thats why I end up devastated. A friend told me, "Why do you have to make things complicated. Why cant you cherish what we have now" That line just kept on running in my head for ages. Hurm sometimes I wish i Didn't know about Fizah's true colours. How she backstab me, mock me, insult me and worst used me. Atleast I have someone that cares for me, she always calls or text me. And even better video call to show her or asked about my whereabouts. Its good to have someone that cares for you. But yeah the reality do sucks. I discover that she's just using me cause she said Im into her and I would do anything for her. And even worst, she insulted me behind my back. Hurm I really wish I can turn back time and didnt meet her friends so that I could live in my own fantasies still. How I wish....

Its all derive from this conversation:

Mr X: Awat Hang nie. Dok melangut saja 2,3 menjak nie
Me: Xda la Mr X, banyak pikir.
MrX: Abang hang habaq ngan aku hang darah dok nek ja. Pi check doc blom
Me: Malaih ahh.....Sat g pi check suma penyakit dok ada. Insurance pon tarak.
MrX: Nie la mentaliti melayu........esok kalo dah kiok tengah jalan sapa susah. Aku jugak.
Me: Ye la2 Nanti aku pi la.....
MrX: Nanti hang 2, 10 tahun pon xtentu. Awat hang dok pikiaq pasai awek ka. Hangpa nie Hati Kama La
Me: Butoh hang.....Dah tua kot. Hang len la dah bertunang
MrX: Bertunang lagi pening kapla hang tau dak. Bayank masalah. Salah sikit gado. Itu la hang, dulu ade awek elok2 pi kejaq awek len.Tak bersyukur!
Me: Bukan kejaq, mmg xleh masuk. Hati dah tarak. Takkan nk buat menda terpaksa. Dayus aku.Dia pon xleh masuk ngan famili aku.
MrX: Dok kejaq awek sophisticated sgt. Carik awek yg boleh jaga hang ngan hormat mak bapak hang. Boleh masuk kapla ngan family hang.
Me: Itu yang susah 2..... Mak aku la nie dok sebut2 nk jodohkan ngan sepupu aku
MrX: Ha pi la.....cuba nasib. Mana tau
Me: Ukur Baju badan sendiri la MrX, hang tau la life aku cana.....bukan nk kata jahat tapi nakal sikit
MrX: Ya la. Xkan hang nak cari calon, dah kawen dok keluaq ngan jantan len. Sat g hang lagi merana
Me: Ahhhh aku malas nk pikiaq la. (Alasan ubah topik)
MrX: Aku nasihat ja.
Me: Tunggu dulu la, ada rezeki ada la. Takdak, dah sampai hightime aku ikut cakap mak bapak aku, so nnt kalo apa2 jadi depa xleh nak salahkan aku. sbb pilihan depa :P
MrX; Ada ka pikiaq mcm 2. Orang pikir nk kawen nie sampai mati.
Me: Quota ada 4 pa.
MrX: Ceh macam hang kaya.....
Me:Tunggu tahun depan. Aku malas dah nk pikiaq psl awek2 nie MrX, Aku dok tgk abang aku, punya la layan bek, nk bday nie, sanggup pi cari duit nk belikan handbag mahal2. Sat g, lepaih 2 kena hambat. Siap kena maki. Ye la kami ni xkaya. Gaji bukan puluh2 ribu. Pandang kami hina kot. Dah la gemok, xhensem
MrX: tu lagi 1, cari la calon bukan ke arah kebendaan. cari yang paham keadaan hang. sanggup susah senang. kalo sanggup senang ja wat pa. kalo cari calon tgk fizikal bek hang beli ja model mana2 kawen ngan dia. senang
Me: Hurm 2010 aku nk enjoy life, nk g backpacking around europe ka, australia ka, buat bobber aku etc. aku cam malas nk pikir pasal awek. aku nk try enjoy life aku. aku dok sembab kt sini padehal org len berseronok semua.

**Added few msg to the conversation**

P/S: Am I not ungrateful? Sigh.....................