Again, the same thing happen

AIR: Can I ask you a Question, Very honest answer please.
Me: Yeah
AIR: DO you think a guy could fall me because of the way I look?
Me: Yeah. Why?
AIR: Im fat and my skin is terrible, thats why :(
Yada
Yada
Yada
AIR: Well you're a friend. Its different than a potential bf (I could see my heart fall into pieces)
Yada
Yada
Yada
AIR: Blehh if theres really that person outthere he will tell me, not keep me wondering. No Its
just that im getting to know this guy and am afraid he might not like how i look now.



Hello world, I taught you were like abit mellow with me. But sadly you have beaten my heart again and again. I dunno if i could ever take this shit anymore. Here I am again, writing the same shit I have written before. How I would love a girl, and she just consider me as a friend. More over, now she's being attach with somebody. I was devastated. Seriously i am. The reason is i didnt come clean. I knew you for just few weeks, doesnt it feek weird just to confess? Why do you think i kept on making excuses just to meet you, all those proposal etc. Dont u think i could do it my self. Damn. Maybe I'll always be the Pet Brother type. This is Karma, I knew it........

Hey

I made up something just to ask you out. I love spending time with you talking about life and what to plan for. Hurm shall i say out loud that i like you or shall i stay and confront my friend first. Looks like he really care about you. And i know when he cares, he like you. Damn!

Hey You

Hey you, I added you on FB and i notice you were in the journalism. Thats cool, ever cooler you love the bands that i liked. We've been chatting for quite some time, discussions on music etc. And when we met. we suddenly clicked. We can talk for hours on our past, music life journalism and all. But you are my bestfriend "bestfriend" and you guys look like you are a couple. I dont want to step into my mans toe. I have been through a lot and i dont want to loose another friend. And theres line that youve said on the first time we met....

"We think alike, you are like my other brother"

That crush me as I really like you. I dont know if I need to pursue you or not.........Arghhh!

At Last!

I receive a sms from my friend Joe, inviting me to his engagement ceremony on 10th July 2011. Alhamdulillah at last these love birds are joint together officially. Im glad that I set you two guys up. Although there's bumps and holes along their journey, but at last they make it. I was really happy to hear it. Alright Joe, take good care of my best friend and do pray for me to be next in line hehehehe. Congrats again Joe & Nedy. May you guys live happily ever after with lotsa kids :)

p/s: Its gonna be bumpy ride till the wedding. Hope you guys hold on to each other ya!

Ending of May

Dear May,

You have made me almost crumble to the ground. I had my life biggest crisis in May. Theres too many things happen this month. Bad things, more likely a test from HIM.I was depress. With too many life obstacle and problems, i end up at home felt like I'm a loser. I was so depress I had told my family, if i kept thinking of all the problems in my conditions; in two weeks time i would be crazy! To add things up, I had problems with my health. I kept on having flu, sinus and bad fever. I dont know why. But alhamdulillah, by he end of May things started to change. More great news came and Allah had shown me the path. Maybe im not that grateful to him as he gave me all this obstacle.

For that May, I hope you put a letter of recommendation to June so that he could be more nicer to Me.

Regards,
TFGJ

p/s: Please make me stop thinking of HER!

Wanted to be loved

I wish i had a vacation now. I envy all the pics of FBrians posted on their holiday to all the beaches in Malaysia or internationally. I just wish I can lay down on the white sandy beach with my loved one. Ahhhh another thing. I wish i am loved too. So that we can head up to the white sandy beach, had a small chit chat, enjoying the sea breeze and cuddle all day. Lie by the beach on midnite and counting the stars. Sighhh

8th May 2011

I was heading home from Melaka, Mama just had one of her treatment. She was very ill, can’t do anything just lie and hoping to get some rest. I was in a mix feeling looking at her condition and I wish that I can help her or do something but right now, I just hope that we can arrive safely and faster. I had to break the silence with a topic, just to get my brother awake. We had few hours of sleep last night as we had to travel from home around 7am to the treatment centre. We had a dead end on the topic silence fill the space as a phone start buzzing. My sister taught it was mamas but it was my brother’s. He was kind of fucked up as he said somebody change his ringtone. But when He reached his phone, he pass it to me, I was like WTF, and suddenly it’s an alarm meant to remind me of HER’s birthday. (My brother used my old phone). Frankly I taught that abang had deleted all my info/data on the phone as he has restored it to factory settings. Eventually it is not. I was speechless. I should have prepared something for her back then. But this year, I just want to move on. Forget her but the memories kept on hitting me. I was in a dilemma whether I wanted to approve her friend request in FB. I did approve, but when I saw you was happy and enjoying your life, while I’m sitting here in my life’s biggest crisis. It broke my heart. Seriously! And the best part is, there was nothing on TV on this lazy Sunday but a movie ‘500 Days of Summer’ and Its your birthday and this movie is on air. Another great Sunday to make me reminisce all we had been through. I know maybe it doesn’t mean anything to you but for me it was everything. You are my best friend and the one I love. Although I think I’m just another one of your guy friend who you used, but you were there when I needed to talk. You know how to calm me down. You and you tickles that always a laugh breaker when I’m in the serious mode. The talks we had, that challenge ideas and knowledge. Sigh. I didn’t finish watching the movie. I can’t barely make it to 100+ days in the movie. I had to shut the TV and wish all this never happens.