Again my whining

Again life has been so hard. God has given me a great challenge in my life. I have to downsize and keep on looking for extra capital for my business. I had to letgo one of my best employee and maintain to a small scale operation. Moreover I have just sold my car again. Luckily my father's company was in need of a truck. Its the hardest thing to do in life. The things you bought and build with your bare hand and sweat are the hardest thing to say goodbye. Its normal but in business my brother said, but everything has its sentimental value. Hurm... This past few weeks was very depressing for us. We put on our poker face and hope people dont notice. I was amaze how my mother react as she knows me in and out. She suggested something that almost break my tears. But i cudnt take it. Its a heritage and your last heritage. Sigh i could only wish things coold get better one day. Hopefully soon. Amin.....

What If

I totally forgot about my writings but someone revive the memory. I got a msg from fb last nite
sounding like this:

"hey.. 1st, what shud I address u? nway I wanna ask u sumthing bout ur note which u have posted - What If 2.0.. isit originally written by u?"

And the conversation goes on and on. She tried to swam through the feelings when I wrote It but it kinda trigger the old memories. I was like damn im trying to put away this memories but it kept on coming back.

But at least somebody appreciate it.

Phobia

Ive settle my event with Vans, alhamdulillah its over with joyuos moments in our life. A week after the fashion show, I kinda feeling like i dunno. Difffrent. I have no fighting spirit, I always thinking of letting things off and just do nothing. Something is bothering me and i dunno what. Last week was even creepier. I felt something was in my house. I always came back quite late at night. It always gave me goosebumps. I dunno why. I heard a lot of weird noise. Pebbles falling down at night. People banging or knocking something non stop. I dunno im paranoid or something but i always kept in mind what Papa said "Its our house, just ignore it. If we are afraid of our own house where else we want to live. We sure dont want to life in fear rite?" Damn whats wrong with me. To make things worst, my brother was seriously ill last week. Damn! I had a talk with him and we decide to move on and act like nothing happen. But for how long, i dunno....