Its 8 days till D-Day

Fuck its just one more week till D-Day. Thats what kept me thinking all this week. what have i achieve in this world. What have i done to my life, my family and my friends. Moreover what have i achieve for myself the past 27 years. Demmit. I dont want birthdays! I wanna be young forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Joyous mother

I was killing the time, as the minutes rush through. We had an important thing to settle at 9 pm and i was very nervous. Its one of the reason to bounce back in 2011. I had to do it. I sat down, had my bath and suddenly I remembered. I had not bow down to the almighty quite some time. Maybe thats the reason life has been so hard last few month. Took my wudhu' and set my prayers. by the time i was finish, mama knock on my door. Me with my sarong and she was like "WTH! My son is praying! Alhamdulillah" I never seen more joyous moment in her life as she was like telling everybody in d house. Sigh I have been not only a bad servant also a bad son. I hope these moments can continue. Amin

New Year Resolution

I was down at Ikea waiting for my parents and lil sister finish window shopping. Its quite some time since they come here. Papa kinda dont like driving to a hectic place. Hes will soon fed up, I took the liberty to be thier guide. I cant sleep doe the pas few days. All my body ache like shit. I let them scroll down the super pack ikea and i sat down the cafe drinking coffee like hell (well its free refill). After that we had lunch. As we were making small talks, I told my family my new year resolution. It just pop out of my mouth. "I wanna go for a euro trip next year" the magic words came out. My parents was like " Do send me to Makkah if you have the means" I said "Insyaallah but somehow i need to do this before i settledown. Mama was encouraging me. Settle all your business problems and put up some money for it, its good for you exploring new grounds. new experience. I need to work more hard. This burdon would not be lifted so easy. But I must try. Dear god, give me the strength and support to face 2011. Amin

This is Where I Work

THIS IS MY LULLABY :)

Sigh

I Guess we are meant to be best friends?????????????

How I Wish

How I wish I had friends who always remember me no matter how. How I wish I got friends who know how am unhappy and how I wish that my friends would go down and celebrate my birthday etc. How I wish. How I wish this freakin world would not be so unfair to me. How I wish I am a billionaire (At least I can buy out my happiness)

Responsibilities

Sometimes I just wanna run away as fast as the Concorde. Theres too much for me here. All the responsibilities. Like am running the show by myself. Seriously im exhausted. But thats life, had to embrace it no matter how. Just hoping all the big rocks on my shoulder will be moved a bit in the future. Insyaallah.

New Addiction

Heres to my latest addiction. Mumford and Sons- Little Lion Man. I first taught its from Dave Matthews Band but I guess Bands who put thier vocal's name as a band name sounds similar lol. Anyway enjoy my latest addiction.

Phewww

Damn lucky Ive made the right choice. Congrats guys, im happy for you all. Cant wait Haha. Looks like I have a hidden talent. Damn when will my time come. Sigh

Hey, I like You

I always felt unsecured, low self esteem and all the negative thinking when its about gurls. Im not that good especially in person. I have been interacting with y through BBM quite a while but when I saw you in person, I stunned. Wordless and try to be in my best behavior which is being quiet. I know I have to make a move. My heart was like, "say something la fucker" but my mouth kept on mumbling. Gosh lucky mamat and your friend kept on making jokes. I love the way you smile and I love it when you like G-shock. A girl with Gshock do turn me on. Gosh I wish I had the power to approach you. Damn.... Nerdy me! How I wish I was somebody else. Looks like I really sux in PR!

Stop being hypocrite

Hello! Its 2010 for god sake. We are not in the 80's where computer are like humongous. Come on, dont play it like i'm a child. Everything about you is expose already. Fuck...all these while I was feed with lies and hypocritical statement. Its high time already. I do care, I think you are a better person and can be change. Stop lying, stop manipulating people and stop fucking around. How are you gonna find your soulmate? the right person when you yourself arent doing anything. Changes is good. I know its hard but the urges should be somewhere in your heart. I dont know if your heart has been blackened by all the things you have done all this year, I am not a saint. Im not a good Muslim but stop manipulating peoples and lying. You have lost almost all the people who love you. Do you want your family to hate you too?

Dont eva say that god has chosen your soulmate, so you can fuck around and waiting for him to come. Thats an immature bullshit. You have to search and pray that you meet your soulmate. Sigh ....Please..... stop bullshiting and stop lying. Bullshit aint worth it.

I dont think you are cursed and I dont think you can love someone.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

ey September. Things was going on track but you wanted to go side tracks too eyyh? Hurm the more I try the more holes i discover. holes i have to closed in order to get a smooth ride to success. Its all infront of me but rather blurry. I have try to plan all but things kept going sideways. My aunt came by, asking me how was i doing. I said so-so. The normal answer when people asked me. "Clear up your things with GOD, perform you prayers! You always forget about GOD yet you asked for so much in life", I was stunt but It kept me thinking. Maybe Im not a good Muslim all these while as Its so hard to excel in all the things i've done. Sigh......my parents kept saying the same thing. I had to change. Atleast a small step as starters. I"ll try, i will...... anyhow my September does rhymes with this song. Hmmmmpphh........



I felt So Empty Inside as Raya was so-so. Not that good. Even I didnt attend any of my regular open houses. Kinda left out this year haha maybe im too busy as I have abandon my friends due to my work. Well that's the sacrifice I have to do. Young is not a leisure time. Young is the time to work hard for your generation and for your loved ones. Work, lets work like a dog!

"It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log" - Beatles

Myspace..

I was a myspace addict once. My best friend Cik Orked msg me through ym and said that we had commented through myspace before. Way before we actually met. What an Irony. She said shes kinda bored and browse through her old comments and found me. Another problem pop up, i cant sleep thinking of it so i decided to browse through myspace. I came through an old friend profile. Shanu. She's in glasgow the last time we change comments and i tried google her up. The best thing is I found her wedding Picture. Also found up she has a kid now. She kinda dissapear and abandon her myspace. anyway Hahahaha Congrats Shanuriza Abu Bakar. (Pssst: You owe me a band tshirt LOL)

Boredom

Im bored. Will somebody ask me out...Sigh

What If I never met you?

You came at the right mommment just to make myself ease. You came to mylife uninvited but I was happy. I thaught there is someone outthere who are not related to me in anyway but sincerely like me, or even care for me. You were very sweet, caring and i guess i lived in wonderland in a while. But you changed. Numerous unreplied sms's, And you stop contacting me. I was not like you aspected aite? Hahahhah its normal. Simply silent for sometime and today you show up acting like nothing happen. Like we were good friends. I was like, Hurm with the hectic with the store sorry if i kinda felt you were unwanted there. Well luck is not by my side anyway. Hahahahah well Im better off like this rather than "chasing rainbows after sunsets"

Please, I cant bear any false hope nemore....

I HOPE SEPTEMBER WILL BRING ME SOME SMILES IN MY LIFE.........finger crossed!

People are happy but you? Stuck in myboxedlife

People are happy la fucker. Stop reminiscing and move forward. People arent waiting for you!

Time is running out

Its almost the end of Ramadhan. The festive season is coming and everything seems not in tact. Damn why life can be so hard for me? Trobles been bashing me in da face for quite some time now. haih.....well that life aite. Just had a conversation with my parents. Im talking about life's problems. What my mom tell me, its not the end of the world. You must look for it and earned it with prayers and gratitude. Thats rarely done by me...maybe i shud be more of that. Looks like I'll be celebrating Eidulfitri with old clothes :P Somebody care to buy me Raya clothes??

11 Days to Raya....Finger crossed

p/s: Thinking of Futher my studies. Mass Comm or Management or Business Studies?

Challenges

God, I know i havent be good lately. I know I did let you down but please ease me with the punishment. Its been hectic since Ramadhan. Gosh I guess I've been a really really bad boy. Sigh

regretion

You are one of my regretion this year. I was to keen on what the others will say. I should have more self esteem. More confidence to say out loud what my heart wants me to say. I shouldn't be to shy. Crap! That life. Sitting here regretting the past ain't gonna make me moving, Shit i've a meeting but yet I cant sleep. Sigh this is the part my brother always say "You think too much"

Mercy

Its been a full week since I was down with this sickness. I cant mobilize, my body try to shut down and this flu is killing me. been stuffing myself with actifed and uphamol but it kinda dont really work. My mom asked me to try an alternative meds for sinus but hurm im afraid and im trying not burden you again. Enough with my loser life, i dont wanna mess up you guys with my long sickness. As im writing this,I just finish a 6 hour Mercy marathon. Damn, i didnt know i can last this long. I guess the story did help me to realize that sometimes life can be hard and you cant always get what you want. Sigh... atleast it helps me through the day, rather than sleeping the whole day or wake up to realize how lonely am I. Sigh I even taught last night, if I were ever died, who will be at my funeral. How has I been lately. Will the earth accept my body? Or will i be another humiliation or simply will I die lonely and unattended. Fuck! screw all this. I need to continue with my life and work. Screw everthing else! REBOUNCE

p/s: Thanks Mama & Papa for taking care of me.....

Ramadhan

Happy Eid Mubarak. I hope my Ramadhan is joyous and blessed. Anyway i"ll kept being gratified with all "he" had given me. Im still here standing tall as all the hard waves kept on bashing me. Alhamdulilah!

To the court again

Hello Maam, Well you kinda be bored with my face well im also surely I dont want to be here in court. Tomorrow 10am, again the same thing. Same procedure and same problems. Im fucking bored of this life. Im like in the verge of wacking up some people. Fuck. I hate monday, sure everyday is not Sunday, but gimme some break will ya. Im keeping up. So lend me some space will ya.

Broken Social Scene - Meet Me In The Basement

What you do when you are confused, all your body ache and all the misery of the past kept on trembling in your door step. I dontknow but rather somehow this music ease me and kept me from sleeping as result from early this morning. I dont reckon riots because it makes everyone else suffer but sometimes you have to make a stance. Theres other way to express your feelings but this manner always gets fast result yet the devastation inured are unbelievable.

Istana Impian

I was cutting some fresh mangoes for my breakfast when suddenly my father joined me and said, do want to know some funny stories. I was like; yeah what is it about?

Here are the sequence:

Phone: Kring Kring
Father: Hello
Girl X: Hello, ini Istana Impian ke?
Father: Bukan, ini istana di syurga. Awak bidadari ker?
Girl X: Owh sorry
Phone: Kring Kring
Girl X: Istana Impian?
Father: Istana Syurga!
Phone: Tuuuutttttttt tuuuutttt
Phone: Kringgg Kringgg
Father: Hello
Girl X: Tuut (phone smash)

Hahahhahah you sure know how to make fun of people Papa....Cant stop laughing!

The Verge

What shall i Do? I love you too much. You've been all my blood and sweat. My baby...Sigh

(Close or Sell?)

Bounce on a flat ball

I faught hard, we I started to bounce back, then something will surely happen. I guess ive found the ideal team but seems people do envy us by offering my staff working with them. another dilemma...sigh

Godspeed You Black Emperor - Rockets Fall on Rocket Falls

Im blurred. Puzzled and emotionally imbalanced. Its time for Godspeed!

Work Hard Play Hard - Bandung Trip (Again)

Its time for Bandung again. I dunno why, but maybe im used to it. Im kinda not to eager to go. But owrk has summon us there. Well I closed down the shop and went to bandung with my staff and brother. We were there for 5 days. We were able to get some rest the first 2 days, then we gave all our heart in working in Bandung. Its a new experience whereby we were able to share things and give out opinions thought out the process. Im a bit dizzy well lets upload the Happy pics first. We work hard and we play hard! More pics and story to come...

Our hotel, Amaris Hotel, Jl Cimanuk

Just opened 15/7/2010

Kickfest Day - Crew Tag

Badger Booth

Look at the Crowd. Its Hectic

Memorabilia

Eat again at Nasi Kalong, Jl Riau

Its clubbing time - Cihampelas Mall

At Embassy. Had little too much of drinks. Wasted!

Will gonna be back. Dance like you never dance. The DJ's & Dancer are wicked!

Happy Birthday JUICE

Hey its Friday and its time to party again! This time its JUICE magazine anniversary party. Congrats JUICE on your 8th celebration. Theres a lot of massive activity going on where DJ Spins, bands performing and a fashion show by Mooks & Ripcurl, Thanks Muna & Kevin for inviting us. We were on the VIP list and hell, its a free flow galore by Chivas. The cocktail was extraordinary, man i wish i had more (Well im a cocktail type of person). And most important thing, my friend jay was selected as one finals for the best dress competition. Sadly he didnt won it. Or we might be heading to Hard Rock Cafe Penang. I have to kabut a bit early, well old people dont party like hell hahahhahaha........ and settledown with a big mac before sleeping. Gosh its making me more fatter. but i love the late night snacks....gosh

Spotted at Juiceonline.com (Bronx gangsta mode)

Ketentuan

Oh Mama & Papa, I know I let you down again. Tears almost break as I wrote this. I felt all the suffering in this short past. I know we somehow we owe them. Not in money term but gratitude, and I know how keen you are to get a mummy daughter's type daughter in law. Who has the good education, good background & obidient. She is almost your dream daughter in law. And most important she is the sister of the man who has helped our family. You dont know how hard am I just to say "NO" and how to see the disappointment in your face. I know you did not force me, but I can feel the disappointment aura. As you have to face Paklong and all. I have tried to avoid getting into this mess, really. I been seeking for other alternative for you. I have been avoiding Paklong's house just to ignore them. I know how our family ties. In minutes it will be the most anticipating gossips in our family. Seriously cause I dont want you to felt guilty because of your son. I really ...............I dont know why, but everything is mess up. Its really messup this pass few days. I felt like driving down the river and drown. THE END!

Im not the perfect stranger

Im not perfect,
Sometimes I'll annoy you
or piss you off.
Sometimes I"ll say stupid stuff,
and take it back.
But I have tried to be a better friend.

P/s: Its your choice nk buat macam mane.Semua dah besar, boleh fikir. If you think Im wrong then Im sorry.

Persetankan semua

Lately im a bit cranky. Easily blew out and even heahache. but luckily i found something to ease me off. My new resolution was to start on my project bike. Unlucky me, i found the right frame, the right price but i cant afford it right now. Damn. when can i start my project.been researching on few indonesian and local fabricator, they are willing to do it but the juice must be right. $$$$$$ trembles again. Sigh gotta think fast to buy the bike first. Its awkward design cause I think the owner must be the "pak cik chopper" type. with the tiger stripes paint job. Dang! please pakcik. that was so 1990's hahahahahha......let me show your what the youth nowdays are into...

2010 Cafe racer. Its from European fabricator. Its sleek yet clsssic cafe racer look.

There you go! My dream bike. Owh I So can cum on you!

Chop chop & Chop! theres alot thing to do! Loose the paintjob, change the front end. Look for classic yet trendy wheelset. Exhaust system must be urgrade also, not to mention new tank, and cafe racer back end!

Whats up with the big fender and mud guard pakcik! Its disgusting. Gonna wipe all out!

P/s: I hope I can start on my bike project promto. Its been my primary school dream. Insyaallah I will start on ya.

Suprised!

I went out scrolling down my guestbook and found this. OMG I was so flattered. Someone out there care for me (Exaggerate). It makes me smile all day long. Whose d writer? Hurm remain unkown?

I blew out

Hey, Im sorry. I kinda had a rough week. Sorry again & didnt mean to dig all the past. I was kinda out of line. I dunno why im a bit cranky. You of all people I hope would understand what I have gone through. All this time I have been there for to support you as a friend. But sometimes im tired trying. I dont know If you ever would forgive me but hey, you know where to find me. If you choose to ignore me then I cant do anything. Good luck with your Room Hunting, Have fun with your new work & the most important thing; no more running.

"Somewhere, somehow & sometime you have to put a full stop in your life and start a new chapter"

Obsession to youtube

A friend told me, nahhhh This is your song. I was like WTF... and she said. you should read the lyrics. Its fits you. and the words kinda stucked in my head.

When you lower me down
So deep that I, I can?t get out
And when you're lost, lost and alone
Yes, you'd think it was the last place
You'd come back for more

If you don?t want me to leave
Then don't push me away
You'd rather blow out the lights
You can watch it all fade
But I'm going nowhere

I'm gonna stay
When you just wanna fight
When you're closing your eyes
Cause you don't wanna love me

I'm gonna stay
You can't push me too far
There's no space in my heart
Where I don't wanna love you

And when there's no, no storm
Then how can I feel the calm?
If there's nothing, nothing, nothing left to lose
Then what is this feeling
That keeps on bringing me back to you

So I'm gonna stay
When you just wanna fight
And you're closing your eyes
Cause you don't wanna love me

So I'm gonna stay, yes I will
You can't push me too far
There's no space in my heart
Where I don't wanna love you

If you ask me to leave
And I walked away
We'd still be alone
And we'd still be afraid
I'm going nowhere
I'm going nowhere

Cause I'm gonna stay
When you just wanna fight
And there's tears in your eyes
Cause you don't wanna love me

I'm gonna stay
All the tears that I've cried
I could leave them to dry
If you don't wanna love me
I could leave them to dry
If you don't wanna love me

Youtube!

Stumbled upon this video on 1.23am. Loved em so much. Simple setups and simple lyrics. Direct!

Blood Red Shoes - I Wish I Was Someone Better

Made a mistake
I made a mistake
I wear the scars to show my shame

Made a mistake
I made a mistake
I wear the scars to show my shame

What should I do?
What should I do?
When I'm the one who can't get through

What should I do?
What should I do?
When I'm the one hey, I'm the one to blame.

I (woo ooh oo)
Can't (woo ooh oo)
See (woo ooh oo)
Past (woo ooh oo)
This (woo ooh oo)
Chance (woo ooh oo)
For us to (woo ooh oo)
Reconcile these doubts! (woo ooh oo)
They've all (woo ooh oo)
Gone on (woo ooh oo)
For far too long (woo ooh oo)
Yeah it goes on and on and on and on (woo ooh oo)
On and on and on and on (woo ooh oo)

Made a mistake
I made a mistake
I wear the scars to show my shame

Made a mistake
I made a mistake
I wear the scars to show my shame

What should I do?
What should I do?
When I'm the one who can't get through

What should I do?
What should I do?
When I'm the one hey, I'm the one to blame.

Just (woo ooh oo)
Not (woo ooh oo)
Built (woo ooh oo)
For (woo ooh oo)
This (woo ooh oo)
Role (woo ooh oo)
And all the time (woo ooh oo)
Much better spent(woo ooh oo)
But it all drags on for far too long (woo ooh oo)
And it drags on and on and on and on
On and on and on and on

Made a mistake
I made a mistake
I wear the scars to show my shame

Made a mistake
I made a mistake
I wear the scars to show my shame

What should I do?
What should I do?
When I'm the one who can't get through

What should I do?
What should I do?
When I'm the one hey, I'm the one to blame.

I wish I was someone better x14

????????????

In A way, I'm confused, puzzled and indecisive lately. Too many things happen and too many outcome. Its down to few options now. All are making me indecisive & I cant really think straight right now. If im too bold, im afraid that im end up with the wrong decision. If I just continue with it, it will kinda make me look greedy. I don't want to look greedy. Ahhhh sometimes its just.....

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Too many things happens in too short time. I hate it when i really need to choose. Really I am. Im not a risk taker like other people. Sometimes Im kinda a risk management thinggy. I deliberate all the outcomes, the pro & cons while I cant make anydecision. Usually Abang is the bolder one who will make all the decision. Im afraid of breaking others people's heart. I kinda have felt it, and i try not to do it to other people.....

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But keeping things the way there are, makes me even a greedy and kinda look like king control. Damn I aint gonna waste my time and money and end up making people happy and at the end, i would take all the suffering. ARRRGGHGHGGHHGHH

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Damn shall I remove my business partner or just let him has a free ride through life.......... that's a riddle i have to solve by myself !

Reminiscing the past year

I think its almost a year now. I dont know why are "gatal" hands went browsing through the net and stumble upon your blog. I was reluctant to read the entries but well im human, the inappropriate things are the best thing to do aite. Damn you Satan! The last entry was on February. Hurm the last time you contacted me and I kinda let you down. Well after reading your blog, hurm i kinda realize how cruel I am, It remind me how cruel I was to you. Really. and one thing did came up right, I did face the same thing. Its Karma right? I hope you are satisfy. You want to know what made me wanna break? In my side of story? Here goes; the main reason is you cant mix around with my families and friends. When you lost your temper, you lost your respect. You were too eager to look for my wrong doings. Everything I did was like I was betraying you or a big sin to you. I cant work I cant socialize even I lost my friends. Everyday with ya is like im starting a rebellion. Hurm naaah Its history but I need to let it out, somehow.

I cant deny how you took care of me. You were very caring, that I cant deny but somehow I cant commit. Been telling myself to be grateful for the past 3 years we were together but I kept on have the rebellious feelings. I did have the heart to tell you the truth, I dont want you to get more devastated as you were having family problems too. I do understand. So I use the lame break up line. "Its not you, Its me" "You are too good for me, theres someone more better for you out there" "I'm having a relationship with ab-someone who you hates and envy" Im sorry, I had to do it. I guess you are happy now. Good for you. I"ll pray for your happiness.

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND

You Have Been Served

Somebody call, "You have been served. Please be in court 21 June 2010"

I was stunned until i do not know what to do. The last thing I heard was the buzzing from the phone cause i didn't hang up.

What a fucking bloody Monday.

Sigh...

Absolut Week

Its been long since I went out. And last week was Party week! Haha its a time for me to blew up up in the sky in the garden some stim off. I got an invite from a long time collegehood friend Diyana, to watch her band SHH Band opening for Roosevelt in Laundry. Its quite a time since I was in Laundry. I think 2006 sets a personal record for me. Co-Organizing Insprationa Joni + Hujan+ Pure Vibracion. Thats was an experience. Well Laundry has an impact but they kinda tone down a bit. Maybe new Organizers came in. But the setup is still the same. We enjoyed all the performance. Shh Diam kinda look hurry and Kyoto Protokol was awesome yah. They really rockit. With some alt+blues+funk+rawk fusions. Then on Friday, Muna (Juice Mag) email us invites for Hanger Launch Party. Went there with my bro, limi n Jay. We had fun. Meeting old friends, catching up and meet new peeps. Its a relief to meet Muna, Ben the the other catcha peeps and most of all, free flow & delicous food yaw . Its really absolut week! Here are few of the damage pictures

Going up to Luna Bar

Get a copy of Hanger SS2010 issue

Our Table with city lights view

Vans+Reebok Fashion Show

Commentating the Fashion show with our new friend Mariana (Look at that empty glass & plate :P)

Our table guest Tatiana, Mariana & Effa i think

Never allow someone to be your
priority while allowing yourself to be their option

Happy B'day my fren

Hey hey, happy birthday my fren. Its been a while but im a bit bz. Sorry... Its your birthday. I did sms you. I dont know if you ever received it. Maybe you ran out of credits, I dont know but its Your special day. Congrats. You were swarmed with gifts and wishes, thats good. Looks like the gift I baught you arent so Important afterall (I"ll pass it when i see ya.) You told me you are too tired with works nowdays. Yeah ok I understand. So see ya in a week or two (You said 1@2 weeks? Cant really recall) . I kinda miss you bestie. I miss our long talk session. You always know how to comfort me. Btw dont forget me on your first paycheck yah :

Dont forget to come and visit me when you are free :P

It got me thinking

The Remedy of the Broken Heart & a Temp Replacement.

Went Craazzyyy

Here are me and my bro, letting out some steams and relaxing by buying SNEAKERSSSS hahahhaha its not healthy but its kinda back dates presents for My sister, my newborn nephew, my godparent's newborn child, my upcoming nephew birthday and also a treat for us :P here are the damages :

Kantoi Whatever

Semalam you call I, I tak answer,
Tak faham ker memang I dah tak suka,
Dari dulu I dah cuba nak break dengan you,
Tapi You Ugut Nak Tunjuk Video Itu,
Sudahlah Psiko ....Jangan ganggu,
You Pakai bomoh, You Ingat I tak tahu,
You memang selalu buat I....berbulu,
Nowonderlah mak I pon tak suka you.

Stop Hoping and Learn to Move On.

Karma, really. this word have been strucking my life for quite some time. But really, its not KARMA or whatever its means but its really me. Why on earth am I still waiting? Still put on hopes. Theres alot of thing shows me the reality. How other people treats me and still I hope they"ll change and treat me like a real human being with feelings. I'm fucked up with all the empty promises or the the lame excuses. Cause, theres a say "If you have the heart, you will always do it" But if you think im just another lame excuses, then Excuses, excuses & more excuses will came up. Sometimes I stayed away for a reason. Not giving myself hopes. Not to look pathetic. Chasing something that cant always be mine. At least My last treasure is my dignity. Gosh why cant I let go and move on? Looks like my journey finding a modern fairy tale will remain clueless. I just wanted to be love........

Move on Fucker

Fuck you, damn you. Just move the fuck off. Quit living in the past!

Expensive Experience

Few weeks back was quite distinguish for me. I had a lot to work on but yet,hurm i delayed and kind side tracked for a while. I got a lot of review to do, theres a review for ROTTW i havent started and i need to get all the things requested by a journalist for my media relation done. and im quite not start. (well i did finish my Badger newsletter but its lost cause the computer got formatted) what a bad week huh. I need a graphic desinger pls! hurm anyone wanna lend me a hand? I dont know, maybe its true what my best friend said, "You think too much, and you makes things complicated" Well that what I do best, THINK. I think of things happen parallel with my life. What happen with my surroundings. What happen with my so called "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" I dont wanna regret things or reminiscing of all stories, but of all the partners I wanted to dive into business kinda sux. Starte with Miss M, the paranoid conwomen. And now It Miss K. Well Miss K was not like con or something but she kinda like snobby little princess, when you were stuck with no jobs and depressed, we were the shoulder to cry, we were the best friends and we would do whatever it takes to be friends. but now, when shes got a steady job, she was like hurm The one who promise to much but cant even kept her words. Its just like 20mins away!!! well im not that urging for what she has promised but Im was very sad of how she treated my brother. he would help anyone. being good, waking up early in the morning and sent her to the interviews, entertaining her, be the good listener etc. but yet, what did he got? Deleted from FB and she cant even buy him a drink on her first paycheck. That freaking pathetic. I cant helping notice the frustration of him. He did not show it, but yet deep down, HE IS. Whenever i braught up this matter he would say "Our worst weakness is our kindness". and "Its an expensive experience". Thats what happen in this few weeks. And what my brother said, come on man, you were treated far more worse before and you were mad at them because of leaving you behind to go to I-City?? You gotta be kidding me! (P/s: there were severall more broken promises) Well i dont like to be treated like a fool. You know, the kinda peeps who waited and hoping while others left them behind. I felt like a fool, damn stupid! Period. And this month am done being FOOLED! Prompt!

Nahhh lets stop babbling and get to work!!!!!! Theres a lot of studies to be made!

How I wish I was like this aunty, eager to get to her vacation spot, shopping etc!

When Can I see this again?

Dilemma

How am I going to do about this. It doesnt contribute anything and yet giving more bourdon to the us. It makes us felt unhappy and.........Damn its a hard decision

Left Out Again

Well I guess I was ditch out again friends. Maybe my life is my work and my passion. I told you guys earlier, you guys would forget about me. And no matter how many times you guys asked me. At the end I would be the one left out here hoping you guys to call me....how pathetic am I?

Ethics Vs Needs

Well, sometimes in life you do what you have to do. Sometimes jeopardizing a bit your ethics. Its not business ethics or work ethics. But its more towards how I look. Hurm actually its not how I look. Its kinda not want things to be overrated. But in life, I did learn something. you can be rebellious. but you cant be rebel without a cause. Hurm theres an issue, Badger been worn by 2,3 AF celebrities. And theres rumours saying that Badger has gone mainstream. Badger is overrated and even better. This so called "indie" and "ethics" group wont wear Badger coz its kinda overrated. But when it comes to TOPSHOP or ZARRA they wont mind. Hurm I never endorsed those guys, they have been a good friend by supporting us buying our products. I met them first at Balai Berita, NST. It was a photoshoot by Juan and Juan asked us to handle the wardrobe. They really like our products and till now they have been a great friends and customer. More likely, Its because the quality of fabrics and merchandise. Sometimes people dont think how hard is it for me to make a branding. i would like to be sucessful like DNP Clothing or Melium Group that brings all the big brands in Malaysia. Sometimes people dont even think how hard is it for me to survive among the big fish in the fashion industry. Lucky me I got few friends that has always want to help me. Guide me through the winding road of entertainment and fashion industry. Moreover its hard for me, with no fashion background or any art studies related. But Im determined to this although I did graduated in Quantity Surveying. Construction line. I do struggle but Lucky me, I got my families on my back. They have been supporting me all this while. Hurm "You do what you have to do" right?

CRAAAZZZZYY

Hurm here's a crazy thing. Lets make a day trip to Bandung. Well tomorrow i will. 3pm to bandung and 6am fly off to Malaysia the other day. How pathethic is that. Well when you commit to something, you do what you have to do right. Sigh how I wish I"ll have a proper vacation and no one will bother me? How I Wish...

Quiting

I dont know why lately things have never been in my side. troubles always meet me at the crucial time. My business is in jeopardy. Financial problems due to some neighbor who is envy with us and kept sending hocus pocus things to our shop. I tried to revive myself and let me think that's a challenge in my business, a lesson i should learn. Lesson that makes you aware that not all people are kind. Kind like we were. Me and my brother tried to make friends with all the neighbor but then this is what we get. hurm. the best things is i almost break, sad looking at my family. i cant help them as they have help me. i even have to postponed my lil sis's bday gift. hurm Why god? I know i did a lot of things that you did not keen but dont punish me like this. I dont have the guts to tell my families. they had been supporting me and they dont aspect me to quit. Sigh its a hard decision. I hope miracle will come and visit me and lash her magical whip and give me some magic. Please! Please Help Me. I know its not the time to quit, god give me something to drive me.

Have You Found ME?

1 week has past and 3more weeks to go :P

To Singapore With Love

I was suppose to follow Khottal to thier 1st international show which is Mosaic music festival in Singapore onMonday 15th March 2010. But because of my busyness an last minute planning I decided to go with Zul, Sue & Belut from Envelove Distro. I walked to Puduraya, buy a one way tix to Singapore and rode the bus for 5hours. It was tiring as I was unable to sleep the night before. Its sleeping time all the way in the bus till the border.

Just arrive at Beach road and heading to HajiLane/Arab St to find some food and meet some friends there.

There's a cool artwork along Haji Lane. Well it is quite a hangout spot for Teenagers here in Singapore. Most of the indie and streetwear are here.

I saw this street and we took few photos here. Damn I love to take pics here. Felt like im somewhere in Europe

We went to Sup Clothing shop in Haji Lane. Jacky the owner was so generous to have us as his guest. We talked about clothing, events etc. He's doing a tri-nation fixie ride in May. Wow thats cool. He also gave us some freebies. Got a replica New Balance shoes. To scale model :P Thanks Jacky. Sorry we cant stay untill your party. Will try next time.

At esplanade, With Mossaic. Damn I wish Malaysia could do this kinda event. Istana Budaya Maybe?

Updating my skills on Air Guitar :P

So sad, I had to leave Singapore at 12am the next day, Budget was killing me. I hope I can stay a bit longer or maybe go sight seeing at Jurong and Sentosa. Or maybe wait for Universal Studios to launch first. Thats a good idea. Well Thats a unplanned and short trip again. Hope I can see beaches in few weeks time.....Cross my fingers

East Cost Road Trip

It was unplanned and we just head down to east cost to met my boutique agent, The Drugbuddy guys down in Kuantan and visit some places, to look for possible shop location. We just pack and drove to heading east cost. Lets the picture do the talking

Our first pitstop. LPT entrance. 3 happy fat boys :P

Padang Makhota I think. Just when we reach Kuantan.

Looking for feasible shops at Kompleks Teruntum

Tojeng & rhona from The Drugbuddy braught us at Telok Chempedak

Iqbal Joined us for Dinner in TC

It was almost 1am when we reached Cherating, It was dark and we were lost untill Kemaman

The tide was not on our side. Sigh

The white sandy beach amazed me...

Our chalet by the beach. Awesome scenery

On our way back, we decided to make a quick stop at Bukit Tinggi. We glad we made this stop

Looking tough?

I was in france?

The swan are gracefully in the pond

Overall view of the resort

Spot me :P

What d time?

Walking to the Japanese Tea Garden. It was beautiful rainforest and the air is calmly and chill

Trying to be E-Honda

Thats 300 calories burned

Tranquility!

This is d end. Damn. I wish this trip would never ends. I really need a vacation. A proper one. Not the rush one. Ohh Redang. I miss you baby.